An astronaut...? Me...?

MRI day today, so we take ourselves off to the Radiology Department at the hospital and settle down in the waiting area. Along comes Nurse Lilmiss I'mincharge and proceeds to lead me off into the bowels of Radiology. After bypassing the change rooms, 'cause they're just going to shoot these rays though my head, we end up in the control room of the space shuttle where I meet Nurse Beenhere Toolong,

I'm told to divest myself of all my worldly possessions, including a partial dental plate I've been chewing on for a few years, and to make myself comfortable on this plastic slab that's got a fruit bowl shaped indent for my head. These two ladies take up position on each side of me and shove earplugs in my ears, then place thick foam pads against the earplugs that wedge my head into place in the fruit bowl. After taking great pains to ensure I can't hear anything, they then proceed to start giving me instructions and offering reassurances while fitting a helmet type thingy over my head that's got a mirror in it so I can see my feet. (Not sure what that's about?) After I've asked them what they've said a couple of times I then decide just to nod for a bit and after awhile they go away. Seems now I'm almost ready for launch. The slab moves me into position and a voice from nowhere mumbles something about three and a half minutes.

Here's another new learning experience for Chris. I always thought that Dwarfs lived at the bottom of the garden and when they wanted a change of scenery they pretended to be Gnomes and spent their holidays on your neighbour's front lawn. Turns out, some of them actually live in MRI machines, and they spend their time using little jackhammers and chainsaws and other random bits of machinery to make as much noise as possible while someone's in the machine. I figure it's a plot to stop people falling asleep. So the voice from nowhere mumbles on a few more times during the silences while the Dwarfs are changing shifts, and after awhile the slab spits me out of the machine.


One of the nice ladies comes and takes my helmet off and I sit up and look around in wonder expecting to see ET or a Transformer or some other alien life form. But no - all I see are pink, yellow and blue teddies placed in strategic places around the room and I realise that this is something some little kids have to go through. It must be a really scary experience for them. It's lucky I'm a big kid, and I'm brave too. I didn't even cry once.

Then they shuffled me out the door, with what I thought was undue haste, while they mumbled something about morning tea. I turned on my homing device and after a few twists and turns found myself back in the waiting room.

So now I'm sitting up writing this at some stupid hour of the night instead of sleeping and wondering what tomorrow's going to bring when I go off to see Doctor G. I'll let you know.