A nice sleepover.

Now, do you remember the other day, I did a quiz at the hospital and won an overnight stay? So I used it on Tuesday night. It was a bit different from the usual overnight accommodation, 'cause I had to check in at 8am. I thought we were going to get a nice breakfast 'cause I wasn't allowed to eat for eight hours before. But no, turns out I had to play a game with some doctors and nurses before I was allowed to even see where I was staying. We were met by Nurse Young Tallboy who explained all sorts of things about the rules of the game, but 'cause he had only been on the job for three weeks wasn't really up to speed on some of the stuff. So I started off with the hospital gown on over my shirt and track pants - as instructed.





















After awhile he decided that wasn't really the right look for the game we were about to play so he wandered off to find out what the correct dress code was. While he was gone we made an executive decision and lost the shirt and pants. When he came back he had a present for me - some nice bright green and white socks. Seems that these are a mandatory part of the uniform. After waiting round for awhile Doctor G arrives dressed in his nice blue uniform and gives me lots of smiles and says lots of nice words and then starts to draw some pictures on my face. When he's finished Nurse Young Tallboy decides that it's time to wander down to the operating room. So off we go. As we turn the corner we run into two orderly dudes and the conversation goes like this...

Orderly 1: "I've got to escort the patient to the operating room."
Nurse Young Tallboy: "Oh...ok come with us."
Orderly 2 to orderly 1: "No. We're going to get his bed."

So, off they go round the corner while Nurse Young Tallboy and I look at each other and wonder how they're going to turn my chair into a bed. Next thing they come back round the corner and ask Nurse Young Tallboy where the bed is? "There is no bed, only a chair" is the reply. We then continue on our way to the operating room leaving two very confused looking orderlies in our wake. We find the right room and go into this little lobby type area - where there's supposed to be a bed... So while we're waiting I get a discourse on how a lot of the staff are new and it's not his fault that no one is quite sure of the process, etc,etc..... Thankfully before he destroys all my confidence in the Hawkes Bay District Health Board the two orderlies arrive with a bed.

We step out of the way as they push it into this little lobby area and immediately Nurse Blue Scrubs come out of the operating room and tells them they've got it in backwards. So under supervision we sort ourselves out and I get to lie down. Ms Eurasia 2005 (the anaesthetist) appears with her apprentice and they start sticking needles in me while Nurse Blue Scrubs starts strangling me with tubes. Nurse Blue Scrubs' twin sister appears and starts demanding to know who I am and why I'm there. After deciding that we're all who we're supposed to be they wheel me into the operating room, and place me and the bed right beside the operating table. I'm now instructed to get off the bed and onto the table.... Say what!! Why didn't I just walk straight to the operating table? Anyway, being the good little patient that I am I move over and the apprentice anaesthetist starts pumping some stuff into me while assuring me that it's just to help me relax a bit....

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Whoa!! Bright lights!! What time is it? I sit up and have a look around and Nurse Blue Scrubs other twin sister tells me to lie back down as I'm still supposed to be asleep. Turns out I'm in Recovery and I've missed all the game action. I have a bit of a feel around my face and find a shape about the size of my nose is covered with a bandage. Everything seems to be fine and I'm feeling very fine so I lie back and relax.

After a bit Orderly 1 turns up and starts to wheel me away. Then we stop for a bit while he goes to find out where he's supposed to take me - that sorted, off we go again. So we arrive in the ward feeling all bright and chipper and my roommates and I do a meet and greet. Nurse Thisis Myward turns up and I get fussed over for a bit, then something else grabs her attention and she's gone. So I decide that as it's only just after lunch time I should get up and get dressed. While all this is going on the hospital grapevine has been working and before you can say: "I'm hungry" Denise and Chelle turn up to see how the patient is. I immediately start to whinge about starvation so off they go to find the cafe. So here's me around 2:00pm after operation 1.






All in all I'm a bit amazed at how good I feel, and even now, thirty odd hours after the operation, and having not slept a wink, I still feel good.... And a bit guilty.












One of my roommates was a 70 something year old guy who has been in hospital for the majority of the past two years. It all started with a stroke, followed by a blood circulation problem, followed by kidney failure. He had just had a shunt put in his chest and a dialysis tube put in his stomach.

The other roommate had come up from ICU and was an early twenties dude who had a ruptured tumor on one of his kidneys. The second tumor that had done the same thing. He was the reason for no sleep as his monitors kept going off through the night 'cause he was supposed to be self-injecting his meds and kept falling asleep.

So as sorry as I feel for myself at times, I guess when you think about it, I've been pretty lucky in a lot of respects. I wonder how much of this is due to the positive approach I've been able to maintain because of all the help and support from my family and friends?

Here's hoping the next episode is as uneventful as this one. But just to gross you out, here's a couple of photos of the real thing.






















Not much to see is there? They filled the hole up with titanium mesh and stitched it to the skin to make the nose stay in shape. Clever or what? Dr G hasn't decided yet if the titanium is there for good. It'll depend on the histology of the lump apparently.

If I do keep the persona of the "Man of Steel" it could make airport transitions interesting. I wonder if you can use smell as a superpower? The mind boggles.

I'll let you know how operation 2 goes.

By the way, I know some of you are having trouble commenting on the blog. If you are reading this as an e-mail you have to reply as you would to any e-mail. To make a comment on the blog itself you have to be on the website which is: "www.chrisflaherty.blogspot.co.nz"